i was here just writing back "idontwanna" below and caught this! thank you. i'll tell James you said this right now. we just returned from the oncologist at UCSF and he's doing even better and gaining a little weight.
I was just suggesting that, if you looked outside of SanFrancisco, you might find that The Dead as you say, have not taken over everything and what your are looking for is not that uncommon.
Stepping out of a "comfort zone" will often bring new perspective.
"I was just suggesting that, if you looked outside of SanFrancisco, you might find that The Dead as you say, have not taken over everything"
---
yes, there is most definitely a war between Love and Evil right now and i was born and suffered to prepare for these times, otherwise it is wasted. regular "healthy" people cannot handle what is now and what is coming. i'm struggling to not go mad and after a lifetime of being the eternal outsider, i'd finally come to a detante with the world.
-----
'and what your are looking for is not that uncommon. Stepping out of a "comfort zone" will often bring new perspective.'
i'm reeling in all this New Perspective as it is and am looking for grounding, which can only truly be within MYSELF and then my home and with those i love. THEN my world will be re-made. it's already happening.
but aside from the philosophical the existential is that James is riddled with cancer and we're set up here so in order to heal him we'll stay steady and i am further tasked with making our heaven here on earth...
ya dig?
so any "new perspective" must begin here with me in the situation in which we find ourselves in this new world.
on the macro, i've no children, WE'VE no children between us, and raised Quaker by activist parents who gave thought to their love in action in the world, i have a duty to cover what others with the children cannot do themselves. so the children are also MINE, ours, but we belong to them and all who come next.
to that end, even riddled with cancer, James knows he belongs to the younger men who're seeking him out now that he's grounded. they visit and wanna just talk. it's beautiful.
so we are changing OUR san francisco.
and YES... i can do it myself if i wanted to and i will. and now that James has cancer he is stepping up, too. he's no room to be cynical anymore or jaded. he is actually in a good place like a three legged dog who just keeps going.
i got here and by accident found myself apprentice to Kris Kovick, who single-handedly started a scene. a scene that made ME the woman i am and let me have some dreams come true before the world DIED and decided it didn't need us. ha!
Kris is dead but i'm in the same building she got me a spot in. i thought it was temporary! ha! anyhow, she is with me every day still. i watched her do her thing and i will build a scene with James, no matter how small and intimate.
it'll be a secret again the way the first one was.... until it wasn't!
but truth is, "idon'twanna," is that i've grown up in and been in underground scenes since i was born. i've got a feel for where the real fun secretly is... but you've gotta be willing to go down scary alleys and charm your way out of a gang rape.
it's possible! i love haunted houses especially the unofficial one and real terror is ending up vulnerable on your back without someone who's fighting to keep you okay like i do with James.
that's all that matters and i LOVE IT. taking care of loving my world.
so that's my perspective.
besides, no where is CALLING me or James. i never ever wanted to leave philadelphia for good, unless i was in nyc, but it hocked me out like a pubic hair stuck in the back of its throat and i didn't wanna move all the way to san francisco.
san francisco wooed me like a 4-day fuck that has gone on almost 30 years and hate it or love it... i like being forced to deal with a situation and find the chutzpah audacity creativity and derring do to make the best of it.
choices can be too much and diffuse my focus.
that's just ME. i like the work of trying to make heaven where i am. i know what i'm DEALING with.
it's an alpha thing; i don't like to be beholden to others' whims.
that's why this current world's trajectory makes me claustrophobic like i'm being buried alive or stuck under the bay on bart with a train bursting with people...oh the panic!
there's nothing i'd rather do than undermine the trajectory western civ is going in and be the patriot i should've been all along if i hadn't had my head up my ass.
my mom told me ever since i was a kid that we have to fight for the ideals of this country and not just expect things. i'm supposed to contribute to the American Dream not just whine about getting The Stuff.
i couldn't even THINK like this had i been born elsewhere. heck, my parents are American Dream even if it seemed nightmarish at times. i'm glad they struggled to make the world better for my sister and me.
i must pass the kisses on...
so there. i wasn't blowing you off. i had to give it some thought. my perspective is from a different VANTAGE POINT.
i've always wanted to save the world, but now it's so James has a reason to wanna LIVE.
I am so very happy to hear this :)
i was here just writing back "idontwanna" below and caught this! thank you. i'll tell James you said this right now. we just returned from the oncologist at UCSF and he's doing even better and gaining a little weight.
happy new year, Jessica!
x
You guys need to get out of San Francisco.
I think Alex Jones read that saint sinner thing on a Midwestern billboard.
We figure we're in Mordor for a reason.... if we can handle it here we can handle anywhere.
Of course, you can handle whatever you do until you're dead but are you happy trying to UN-PC SanFrancisco?
Haven't you realized that the old question of one's "happiness" is irrelevant during such times? It's: "how might I best serve now?"
This is where it all started, where The Dead took over the world.
I was just suggesting that, if you looked outside of SanFrancisco, you might find that The Dead as you say, have not taken over everything and what your are looking for is not that uncommon.
Stepping out of a "comfort zone" will often bring new perspective.
TY for your service.
"I was just suggesting that, if you looked outside of SanFrancisco, you might find that The Dead as you say, have not taken over everything"
---
yes, there is most definitely a war between Love and Evil right now and i was born and suffered to prepare for these times, otherwise it is wasted. regular "healthy" people cannot handle what is now and what is coming. i'm struggling to not go mad and after a lifetime of being the eternal outsider, i'd finally come to a detante with the world.
-----
'and what your are looking for is not that uncommon. Stepping out of a "comfort zone" will often bring new perspective.'
i'm reeling in all this New Perspective as it is and am looking for grounding, which can only truly be within MYSELF and then my home and with those i love. THEN my world will be re-made. it's already happening.
but aside from the philosophical the existential is that James is riddled with cancer and we're set up here so in order to heal him we'll stay steady and i am further tasked with making our heaven here on earth...
ya dig?
so any "new perspective" must begin here with me in the situation in which we find ourselves in this new world.
on the macro, i've no children, WE'VE no children between us, and raised Quaker by activist parents who gave thought to their love in action in the world, i have a duty to cover what others with the children cannot do themselves. so the children are also MINE, ours, but we belong to them and all who come next.
to that end, even riddled with cancer, James knows he belongs to the younger men who're seeking him out now that he's grounded. they visit and wanna just talk. it's beautiful.
so we are changing OUR san francisco.
and YES... i can do it myself if i wanted to and i will. and now that James has cancer he is stepping up, too. he's no room to be cynical anymore or jaded. he is actually in a good place like a three legged dog who just keeps going.
i got here and by accident found myself apprentice to Kris Kovick, who single-handedly started a scene. a scene that made ME the woman i am and let me have some dreams come true before the world DIED and decided it didn't need us. ha!
Kris is dead but i'm in the same building she got me a spot in. i thought it was temporary! ha! anyhow, she is with me every day still. i watched her do her thing and i will build a scene with James, no matter how small and intimate.
it'll be a secret again the way the first one was.... until it wasn't!
but truth is, "idon'twanna," is that i've grown up in and been in underground scenes since i was born. i've got a feel for where the real fun secretly is... but you've gotta be willing to go down scary alleys and charm your way out of a gang rape.
it's possible! i love haunted houses especially the unofficial one and real terror is ending up vulnerable on your back without someone who's fighting to keep you okay like i do with James.
that's all that matters and i LOVE IT. taking care of loving my world.
so that's my perspective.
besides, no where is CALLING me or James. i never ever wanted to leave philadelphia for good, unless i was in nyc, but it hocked me out like a pubic hair stuck in the back of its throat and i didn't wanna move all the way to san francisco.
san francisco wooed me like a 4-day fuck that has gone on almost 30 years and hate it or love it... i like being forced to deal with a situation and find the chutzpah audacity creativity and derring do to make the best of it.
choices can be too much and diffuse my focus.
that's just ME. i like the work of trying to make heaven where i am. i know what i'm DEALING with.
it's an alpha thing; i don't like to be beholden to others' whims.
that's why this current world's trajectory makes me claustrophobic like i'm being buried alive or stuck under the bay on bart with a train bursting with people...oh the panic!
there's nothing i'd rather do than undermine the trajectory western civ is going in and be the patriot i should've been all along if i hadn't had my head up my ass.
my mom told me ever since i was a kid that we have to fight for the ideals of this country and not just expect things. i'm supposed to contribute to the American Dream not just whine about getting The Stuff.
i couldn't even THINK like this had i been born elsewhere. heck, my parents are American Dream even if it seemed nightmarish at times. i'm glad they struggled to make the world better for my sister and me.
i must pass the kisses on...
so there. i wasn't blowing you off. i had to give it some thought. my perspective is from a different VANTAGE POINT.
i've always wanted to save the world, but now it's so James has a reason to wanna LIVE.
on to more adventures!
x
(Smile)
You're welcome and thank you, too!
X